Biolo-grump.

5:45pm, Monday, August 26th, 2013.

Me: "I don't want to go to school..I'm so sick of school."

Boyfriend: "It's only your second day.."

That pretty much sums up my evening.

Approximately 75 minutes later, I was helplessly seated in my Biology lab.  It was here I would be humbled to the pits of next-to-nothingness.  How is it that within the first 4 minutes of class, everyone else seemed to know the answer to "who knows why plant cells are green?"  Did I miss the part where the professor explained to us that chlorophyl absorbs every color except green, and thus reflects it off of itself*?  Yeah, apparently I did.  Apparently I was supposed to remember those things from the last biology class I took.  In 9th grade.  And apparently this information is pertinent to my future in the medical field. Plants. Chlorophyl. Green.

And microscopes.  Don't get me started on microscopes.  Do you look through both ocular fields simultaneously? Open one eye, close the other? Which one do I keep open? Wait, I don't even know if one is supposed to be closed. It's not in focus. WHY IS NOTHING IN FOCUS? What am I looking at? No seriously, WHAT am I looking at?  Great, the illumination was turned up to 6; now I'm blind. *sound of my corneas sizzling*

But you want to know what I'm great at?  I'm great at keeping tally-count of how many times the professors says "k" in lecture.  How do you get certified to teach when your tally count is up to 93 in a minutes and a half. That's more than a "k" a second. What even..?

*How do I suddenly know this? Because I raised my hand like a neanderthal, and asked #wtfeveryoneistalkingabout.

Back to school..

I graduated college in 2011.  But as of today, I'm officially a student again.

End goal: cut people open, stitch them back up.

Well, technically that's a lie. I want to deliver babies.  But from what I hear, there's some cutting involved in that, too. Alright, too much detail..

Moving on.

For some reason this requires a few lame chemistry pre-requisites.  I am terrible at science.  Did I mention how terrible I am at science?  Because I'm pretty terrible at science.

Things learned from the 110 minutes I spent in Chemistry tonight:

1) Don't touch open flames. Duh.

2) Don't drink hydrochloric acid. Or any acid. Or anything involved in experiments, for that matter. Duh.

3) Even though we've made it to college (I guess I've made it to college twice now..) these things still need to be explained in lengthy detail. Then you have that kid in the back of the class who questions everything. "Is fire hot? Why is acid bad? But I did acid at a party last weekend and..oh..never mind, wrong acid.  Well can I drink the distilled water that's been sitting in this drawer for years? What if I'm thirsty..?"*

4) I can't pay attention to lectures because my professor has a thick Indian accent and all I can focus on is how he annunciates words like "hazardous" and "experiments".  Those x's and z's. English, you're so tricky.

5) Actually, I take back number 4.  I can't pay attention to lectures because I have the attention span of a first-grader.  The accent is merely a justification.

6) It took me 25 extra minutes to do my lab tonight because I couldn't begin until I adequately doodled the title of the experiment for my paper-heading.  Took me 4 tries before I kept the piece of paper I ended up working on.  But come-freaking-on. How do you make "graphical analysis of experimental data" look pretty? #artistproblems

7) The kid sitting behind me thought 200 was 93% of 330.  Dude, you're not even close..and I can tell you that without even consulting my TI-89.

8) It's going to be a long semester.

*made these up, but let's face it, someone was thinking it.

Midsummer Night

(stole this title from Kandyce, whoops)

I'm going to be blunt: I am friends with some of THE most talented individuals.

This weekend we all decided to collaborate our talents and create some beautiful photos based off of Miss Kandyce Carroll's amazing floral skills.  Her and I sat on my bed earlier this week and discussed her vision; dark, moody, boho.  And from there, our idea continued to grow bigger and bigger.

Hair/Make-up: Jennifer Arguello (jennifer.arguello2@gmail.com)

Flowers: Kandyce Carroll

Models: Ceara, Tasia, and myself.

Photographers: Tasia Jensen and myself

Wardrobe: Free People

Watercolor Typograpy

Alright, folks. Today I'm doing some shameless self-promotion.

Hand-lettered watercolor pieces made by yours truly.  I'll be compiling a large array of quotes/words/whatever I can think of, and making multiple prints of each, as well as taking custom orders.  As of now, these are available in two sizes: 9"x12" or 14"x17", with more options coming soon.

Mother's Day is coming up, wedding season is upon us, and we can all use something pretty to put up on our walls, right?

Planning on getting super creative with life in the next few weeks, so stay tuned.

Share this photo on IG (@nataliewall) or via blog and receive 10% off your order.



**If you want something before Mother's Day, email me stat. I leave the country on Wednesday, so I can have it done/shipped before then if you hurry**

nataliemorganwall@gmail.com

I'm running away and joining the circus. Problem(s) solved. It's decided.


Sidenote:  I'm in an aerial show this Saturday.

7pm
Murray Theather, Utah
Tickets are $10 at the door.

See you there.

What I've learned from nannying..

1) If you toot three times you have to go potty.

2) Flashing lights means you're in outer space.

3) Mac & Cheese is totally acceptable for breakfast.

4) You're not allowed to sing OR listen to music in the car.  It's just not okay.

5) Car seats can double as a jet pack.  Or space ship.  Or train.  Or airplane.  Basically any motorized vehicle.

6) "Lasterday" is a word that designates a given day in a period of time spanning from the moment it's used until..well..the beginning of time.

7) Any child who has light brown skin automatically speaks Spanish.  I learned this at McDonalds.  It may or may not have offended two Asian individuals.

8) The word underwear is funny to everyone and should be screamed during public outings.  If no one laughs, scream it again.  This may be substituted with the word boogers, as well.

9) Kids, even in their naivety and immaturity, are wise beyond their years.

Adulthood

7 things that make me happy to be an adult:

1) I can eat white chocoloate-covered Oreos for breakfast *stuffs one into mouth as she types*

2) I don't have to sneak out to go out at 3am.  Ehh. Who am I kidding? I'm asleep by 11pm every night.

3) Bills and responsibilities and taxes and..oh wait. Wrong list.

4) I can spend my money on cool things.  Next purchase: 64 pack of Crayolas. Con crayon-sharpener.

5) I accomplished a life-long goal of finishing a Cali-B* from Molcasalsa in one sitting.  And instead of gloating about how obese I was, I could blame it on my adult-sized tummy. Euphemisms.

6) If I don't feel like matching my clothes I simply call it creative expression.

7) Dessert before dinner.  And occasionally* in lieu of.


----Footnotes----
*California Burrito
*Still can't spell occasionally correctly on the first try, after 22 years of existence. Meh.

Dinosaurs, Drugs, and Best/Worsts..

Disclaimer: this post is a result of facebook comments and my lack of creativity coupled with a longing to write.

You know what I like? Dinosaur chicken nuggets.  They bring me back to my college days, when I'd eat dinner (round two) at about..3:41am.  Dino-nuggies are what I'd pull out of the freezer.  If I was feeling really fancy, I'd decorate the plate with ketchup palm trees #truestory.

Have you ever seen a dinosaur on drugs?  Me neither.  However, in my head, cavemen were totally hippies who consumed copious amounts of herbs - if you get what I'm saying #420.

Best dinosaur: Pterodactyl. Land Before Time's Petrie, anyone?!
Worst dinosaur: Barney.  I don't love you, and you don't love me, so stop singing about it on television.



I shouldn't be allowed to blog anymore. Rawfffffl.

"She lives the poetry she cannot write" - Oscar Wilde


o b s e s s e d.

Somehow I managed to drop 9 pounds in 4 days.  That somehow is not to be confused with anorexia or bulimia (although throwing up does play a part..).  I was sick.  I puked.  I just wasn't hungry.

After I started feeling better I was pretty stoked on the unintentional weight loss.  And pretty disappointed to say that in the last few days of unsickly sickness (sick again; this time with a cold..) I've managed to gain most of it back.  Curse you, Paradise Bakery.