So today at work..

*phone rings*
ME: "Good afternoon, Country Club at DC Ranch, this is Natalie.."
HIM: "Yes, may I please speak with Mr. Johnson?"
ME: [hesitantly] "Hold on" *puts phone on hold & shouts down the hall* "Linda..there isn't a Mr. Johnson that works here..is there?"
LINDA: "No!"

ME: "I'm sorry sir, there's no one here by that name"
HIM: [aggressively] "YES there is I just SPOKE with him 20 MINUTES ago"
ME: [counter-actingly] "Okay FINE do you happen to KNOW what DEPARTMENT he is IN?!"
HIM: [annoyingly aggressive] "THIS IS RIDICULOUS I JUST SPOKE WITH HIM WHAT IS YOUR BATCH NUMBER?!?!?!?!?"

ME: "My whaaa..??!" *puts on hold again* <--allows sweet man to listen to hold music for excessive amount of time. so kindly of me..
*screams to Linda* "Urrrrm he's yelling..at..me..asking..for..some..number..?" *snort* laughs.
LINDA: "Say wahaa? Transfer him here.."
*transfers*
LINDA: "This is Linda..[silence]..who?..[silence] Natalie?..[silence]..ANTHONY! That is not funny, sweetheart. Stop wasting her time. And yours" *transfers back to me*
ME: "ANTHONY YOU ARE RETARDED"

This boy I work with called pretending to be a rude old douchecake. Illdiot.

I love my job. I really do :]]

I'm like THIS MUCH hungry. All the time.

You know when there is NO food in your house?

STORY OF MY LIFE.

This is what my life looks like:

*opens fridge*
Natalie: "Oh hello butter! Howdy, cream cheese! Ew..milk"
*opens freezer*
Natalie: "Hello, lone ice cube"
*rattling of the ice maker*
Natalie: "Hello, second ice cube"
*crickets chirrping*
Natalie: "FML"

Srsly. I'm starting a "pity-me-my-poor-soul" fund.
Jk. But fouRealz. Four eelz? foe reel.

I also have to bear bad news: I have been diagnosed. With a disease.

I call it "eatalotta syndrome"
The symptoms are as follows:
1) Always hungry
2) ALWAYS hungry
3) Sudden cravings of any and every sweet edible morsel.
4) Excessive weight-gain resulting in obsesity. Don Vito-stylez

AHH SCOTT JORGENSON. I luuuuuuuuuv it.

<3

In honorarium of the award-winning crotch-grab..

Michael Jackson..died? Wow. Craziness. I can't say I'm particularly sad--I wasn't a huge "MJ" fan. Perhaps it was before my time. But it's just..weird.

Anywho. Did I mention I love my job..?

The chef brought me some cake today. And a cook make me a gourmet grilled-cheese for lunch :]

PS. I think the hair dryers with the "ionizer" buttons are just a gimmick to steal poor college girls' money. Srsly. What does it do? It doesn't even make the hair dryer SOUND different..yet alone blow out magic pixie dust. And my hair still manages to look like I live in Kansas. With Florida humidity. Blast.

My Current Obsessions..Take a looksie.

Seriously, who doesn't like Clue? I love it. I love playing it. Particularly being Mrs. Peacock, and killing people with the wrench. Actually, I just used to wrench when I played Barbies and macho-Ken would fix my plastic blue Barbie Jeep (actually, I believe it was Skipper's Jeep..). That's beside the point.


I also love pizookies. I make/eat at least one a week. Sometimes more. It's deliciously deadly. But why die skinny, yaknowwhatimsaying?

I'm kind of a little obsessed with this hobby called picture-taking. It's a standard must-do. And I'm 87.33% sure this little guy will be MINE in less than 13 days AEEEYYYYI!!! :]] If you would like any pictures done as I begin the process of testing 'er out lemme know.

Gladiator shoes {aka Jesus shoes} are like TEHbomb.com. And that is that. WWJD, son.

Patrick Watson. Click here to listen to only the most chillaax song ever. Then when you're done, listen to THIS song by M83. Zohhmahgawsh. Do it. DOOO ITTTT. You will not be sorry. And if you are, you have a rather eccentric taste in music. {PS that M83 song is in only the best snowboard film EVER. That's It That's All. Check out this teaser. CLICK MEEEEE} Oh. But what you have to do (Yes. Have. I am watching you..) is watch the video, mute its sound, and have M83 open in another window and listen to that whilst proceeding to enjoy Travis Rice in his glory and only IMAGINE what the real video is like. Omg. Movie night. Srsly.


I think it's apparent that I ramble. I go from Clue to Barbie..and Patrick Watson to snowboarding. Ayy.

Whistle while you work..da da da da da de dum

Okay, so I can't whistle. But I do work. And today I officially started my new job *oohhh, ahhhhh*

DC Ranch Country Club

What do I do?
I answer phones, transfer calls, take appointments, assist the catering director with events (weddings, cocktail parties, business meetings, yada yada), assist the activities director (more events..woo), assist the manager (paperwork, itineraries, contracts..the works), send out emails..

Donde esta?
It's at a private country club in Scottsdale. Hayden/Thompson Peak. It has its perks, ya knoww? :]

Big girl?
All growned up.

this is the view i get every day

I work 8:30-5 Tuesday through Saturday. I am rather depressed that my snowboarding season will be cut in a fifth. Now I am going to be a lone solider every Monday. SO if there is anyone who won't be getting all educated-like in school or wealthy-like at work, get a season pass and be my snowbunny buddy. Eh eh eh eh? :] Kayperfect.

pretty, right?

I am beautiful, no matter what they say..

Yes yes, little bloggie here got a make-over :] It was long overdue, and still in the works.
I tweaked a few different codes and threw together a banner in aboutttt 15 minutes, so shush your face if you don't like it. :]

So, as most of you know, Ashley was voted off of SYTYCD tonight :[ We love you, girl! Way to represent AZ <3

That highlights my unproductive day. Pretty much.

So for church, I'm on the mingles committee (big dawg, eh? lol). Basically, we help 19 year-old girls find and marry 22 year-old boys after first setting sights upon each other after church on the 3rd Sunday of each month whilst munching on brownies {hellloo run-on sentence}. It makes for good wedding stories regarding the chocolate that was stuck on their teeth and what not. Okay. I totally exaggerated that--I just wanted to make my calling sound like this eternally-held big deal, per se. I just bring food for people to eat. Pretty basic, if you will.

This Sunday I feel like being domestic and making cupcakes. I want to do something cute. We shall see where my creativities take me <--probably to a dead end, alloting me the choice of either jumping into a canal or getting hit by the metro city bus..

I'll keep you posted on what this little mind of mine decides/does/dabbles upon.


*Also. If you read my blog, do say hi. I just got a new little counter thing as of 15 minutes ago--you're not as anonymous anymore :]] Haha. Kthx.

PinkOrangeGreenZEBRA

Okay. After much time awaited, I am back. I fought-off TEH EVILLE monkeys {from the Wizard of Oz..c'mon people!} with a lightsaber. Nun-chucks were broken.

Let me introduce you to possibly the greatest wedding ever (except mine--the benefit of being the last one married: I STEAL ALL YOUR IDEAS! *evil cackle*).

Britney Jean & William Jess Gulbrandsen were sealed for all time and eternity in the Mesa, AZ Temple on June 12, 2009. Pretty much, it was amazing. In a nutshell.

Bridesmaids+April+Baby Wiener Dog

Hello, my name is Sparta, the warrior princess.

CANDY TABLE CANDY TABLE CANDY TABLE OMG

highYA

Ohkay.

I have so much to blog about and so so so many pictures to post, it's ridiculous. Because MY BESTTTT FRIEND GOT MARRRIED. But. There is a lot of rustling outside my window. So I must go grab my nun-chucks, ninja suit, and Yoplait yogurt {vitamin c really helps my reflexes} and take care of that ish.

*Schwarzenegger voice* I'll be back

BRITNEY'SBACHELORETTEPARTYY



Of course Jill makes everything ten times cuter than you could ever even imagine. She is so creative. I covet her ish-ness ability to turn "ish" into "-ness" {cuteness, amazingness, zOMGness..you get it}.


And April (alongside Baby Wiener Dog* <--she's preggo. It's the size of a sausage. So I renamed it until we figure out if it's a he or a she. SHABAM, Sam) strung this decadance across the stairway. Lookit that zebra ish. Find me a fiancee so I can buy one! SIKE. After the mish, maybe.
*Funny side note: the red squiggle-line yelled at me for spelling "wiener" wrong--tehe! Am I in third grade? Yes..I am.


Hello my b-e-a-UTIFUL bride-to-be. Isn't she hott? Yes yes, I know. Jess, you're a lucky one. Still a little bitter about you stealing my BFFer {jKidding}. RIP BRITNEY JEAN PETERSEN.


:] I would. I did. CONQUERED.


Miss Britney Jean,

You are my best friend. You have helped me in ways I can't even begin to describe, majoritively ways you probably aren't even aware of. Here is a list of what I will miss the most once you die {aka get married..don't worry, you die as BJP and become BJG Loh!L}:

{ONE} Sleeping with you in Mommy Petersen's bed when she's out of town. I guess Jess will fufill my calling even better. Dang husbands.

{TWO} Catching the Petersen house on fire whilst attempting to make muffins during General Conference. Hopefully the Gulbrandsen house doesn't have sensitive fire alarms.

{THREE} Singing you to sleep. Actually, I don't think I ever did that.. uhhhhhh..

{FOUR} Playing your piano. But! Guess what! I can do so at your new house!! OMGGGG.

{FIVE} Eating pudding. I guess that's Mommy Jill's. But still. I even got the special pudding spoon :[ And now you with your "no sugar" rule. Blast.

I am so excited/proud/happy/overjoyed/any-other-adjective-you-can-insert-here for you! You are incredible. Ah. Tearing up. Love you.


TheFINALcountdown: ONEmoredays. Yes, days. Because I can.

You've got mail

Dear rude anonymous posters,

Please stop leaving offenseive comments on the blogs of my friends and family. I'm sorry that you're not satisified with the way your life is going, or the people who have let you down. I'm sorry you covet the amazing accomplishments of those I care about. Perhaps instead of hiding behind nameless IP addresses you could go out and do something worthwhile for other people. My friends are beautiful and perfect in the bodies they possess. I wouldn't change anything about them--physically, mentally, spiritually. I'm sorry you feel otherwise.

Thanksmuch,
Natalie

-------------------------------

Dear Britney's wedding,

I am so excited to meet you in your glory. Ah. Did I mention I'm so excited? 4 days. Holy smokers. I take 8% credit in your demise. Kthanks.

<3,
Natalie

---------------------------------

Dear ABC News,

Can you focus on something a little more optimistic? Everytime I turn you on I become THIS much closer to buying a bulletproof bubble and 5-grade alarm system. And adopting all the abused children in the world. And changing my major to forensic studies in order to cage up all the freaks. Yeah.

Love,
Natalie

--------------------------------

Dear Campbells Soup,

Why you gotta' be so gooood?

Sincerely,
Natalie

Just a few things to note in your journal:

1. Pudding is a food group in and of itself <3 'Nuff said.

2. I don't care if I'm flying first class--I hate traveling. Just because my seat is two-times as wide and includes a free recycled pillow and 3-course meal doesn't reassure my brain that crashing into the ground at 438 mph leaves room for the least allowance of survival. You know whattaym' sayin?

3. Reading the B.O.M in one month is do-able. And by "do-able" I mean that I'm doing it. By July 5th. That's only 17 pages a day--nobigdeal.

4. My best friend is getting married in LIKE12MOTHERLOVIN'DAYS! Ohmycusswordsoexciting

5. I've never been fond of the number 5. Boycott.

6. I like photography kind of a lot. Need pictures done? Click me. Really. I dare you. Sorry for the self-solicitation <--blame it on the 'conomy. What can'naaye seigh? Nuffin.