The story:
My phone decided it wanted to go for a swim last night.
I insisted that it didn't--but to no prevail.
Sure enough, he jumps in and realizes he doesn't know HOW to swim.
That's what you get for being a disobedient S.O.B.
And now he is dead.
A eulogy to my long-remembered friend:
Oh, the times we've shared.
The texts we've read, the pictures we've taken--
oh hail, all 358 contact numbers are gone.
Blast.
New phone coming Monday. Monday? Really.
Yeah. So, if you'd like to contact me, do so via facebook. That's how
I'll be communicating for the next 3 days. UGHH.
1. Brown and black--together. I don't care WHAT Stacy and Clinton {What Not To Wear} told you, it just shouldn't happen. Ever.
2. When Paradise Bakery is out of Broccoli Cheddar soup. Just because your fire-roasted tomato is da shiiii doesn't mean you're exempt from always serving my second favorite. Because we all know the world revolves around my food cravings, right? Right.
3. Paris Hilton. Probably the worst combination of the words "like", "OMG", "ew", "&^%*" and "that's hott". Ever. And she gets paid for that? Srsly. That's all.
4. Late-night TV. It's trash--almost all of it. Reno 911? Jerry Springer? What is this world coming to? No wonder children have bedtimes. Pity our souls.
5. Chewing with your mouth open. No, I don't want to hear mastication put into works. Nor do I want to watch you break apart your food. Icklesauraus Rex.
