Mango Tree

I just found this old guest-post I did for my wonderful friend,
Lauren, way back when, while she was too busy traveling around the left coast making BFFs with Johnny Depp. Or something like that.

Anywho. I thought it was kind of silly. Super old-school. Enjoy.


"Natalie's Learned Lessons--Things that will get you goin' places in life".

1) Just because a sliding glass door LOOKS open does not necessarily mean it is. Windex works wonders. Approach with caution.
How I learned this: Simply put, I was in a hurry. On my way out the door for a date. Grabbed my purse and was headed out the back when BANGGGGGG! <--forehead-on-glass-onomatopoeia. I can sympathize with those stupid birds.

2) Never let an eight year-old cook his own dinner. I don't care if 8 is the "age of accountability" or not. They aren't even tall enough to see over the stove. That tells you something.
How I learned this: I was babysitting one night. We will call him Jonny. Little Jonny decided he was going to make himself some dinner. And by dinner I mean s'mores. And by s'mores I mean via microwave. And by via microwave I mean alluminum bowl. Pretty much it was the fourth of July in the kitchen. Er..

3) When baking, remember that there is a difference between baking POWDER and baking SODA. If you mix the two up, please take note before giving away the finished product.
How I learned this: Self-explainatory. Brought it to a church event back in the thirteenth grade and everything..It probably beats the weavels story.

4) Those amazing scented Crayola markers do NOT taste good. Regardless of how amazing "burt marshmellow" smells.
How I learned this: Srsly--don't tell me YOU never did it.

5) When getting into a hottub, do so slowly.
How I learned this: After snowboarding I ran downstairs and JUMPED into the hottub. Literally. You know..the hottubs that are outside Just chillin' in the snow. Yeeah. Turns out someone forgot to turn it on. It was only 19 degrees..

6) Common sense, but I'd like to reiterate--do NOT wear Old Navy flipflops when it rains. Especially on cement. I mean, that's like..what..a whole 4 days a year if you live in a-zona..?
How I learned this: As much as I hate to recall this traumatizing story, I shall share. On a date. Cute boy. White sweater. Middle of winter. Rain. New car. Hot chocolate. Boy: opens door. Natalie: hydroplanes on Old Navy rubber-ness; spills over white sweater; spills over new car. Hot. Burns. Hot. Ouch.

7) Rent-A-Santa's beard isn't fake. I'm sure his fingerprint card is, though (do you honestly think those guys pass the background checks..?).
How I learned this: Oh you know..gave it a little love-tug.

8) Monopoly is not the game for a quick school-night game party.
How I learned this: 6 hours later I was still playing the stupid game, paying luxury taxes on properties I didn't even know I had, getting lapped by a stupid terrier-dog game piece. Uhh nothanks.

9) Bunk beds and ceiling fans aren't friends when located within the same vicinity.
How I learned this: I was camping out on the top bunk in my sister's room one night. It just so happened to be right under the fan. Which wasn't supposed to be on (it wasn't when I went to sleep, at least). For some reason, I sat straight up, only to be clonked in the head with revolving fanblades. And my dad stitched up my head in the bathroom downstairs. Yes, he is a doctor (you'd be surprised how many people actually have to ASK that).

10) No good list goes to ten, anyway..


Marci Darling said...

I remember reading this and immediately having to follow your blog because I knew you were wonderful.

Shame about that hot tub.

Anonymous said...

so cool tht ur dad is a doctor. very cool. haha nice of u to tel us about ur emberasiing experiences. were now precautioned.


Connie said...

I remember this- hilarious!! My favorite is number 2. bahahaha!

Haylee Abney said...

I remember this list!:) Umm ya the common sense in #6 wasn't so common for me when we had the tornado the other day! I almost died at school about 7 times because I slipped so much! After a while I decided to just look like an idiot without caring, and I started holding onto my friends' arms as we walked to our classes all day. Good times.

Alexa Mae said...

i remember this like it was yesterday...i loved it!! it was so funny.

Busy Bee Lauren said...

Ah yes...I heart this post. And you.

I wish I was making friends with Johnny...but it was just Orlando.

M said...

I ran into a glass door once. Like full on run. Hurts just thinking about it!

Danielle said...

Nice blog :)