Things They Fail to Tell You Before Enrolling in College:

1) It doesn't matter how well you managed your homework time in highschool. Come college, deadlines equivocate to mean "start homework 3 hours before such-and-such date and time". Don't tell yourself you're different. You're not.

2) "Prerequisites" are pointless. They spend the first 6 weeks reviewing everything you should have known to take the class in the first place. Don't let that course-code jargon intimidate you.

3) You will do things you never thought you would do. Like going on a road trip with your friends in the middle of finals. Or meeting someone for a few hours and then flying up north to stay at their house for a week. Or simply smashing cake in someone's face. It will happen.

4) Textbooks are best used for stacking atop one another and mimicking a step-ladder for those things in hard-to-reach places. Reading? Pfft. Please. This is college, not high school.

5) When they tell you "It's okay if you don't know what you want to do with your life yet" they are lying to you. You have a semester's-worth of generals to figure it out, unless you want to overload your schedule with credit hours to graduate on time.

6) There's a high probability that caffeine will become your best friend. Stick with soda and stay away from the energy drinks. Unless you want to wake up, 5 Red Bulls and 2 hours later, in a ball on the bathroom floor thinking those Chinese Communists you just spent all night reading about are after you..and forgetting what your test in 45 minutes is on. True story.

7) Work is important; but make sure YOU enjoy it. As soon as the university ships you off into the real world you better hope you love your career as much as you initially thought you would. Take advantage of being able to do whatever you want during your 4 (3 in my case) years in undergrad. Fun fun fun fun fun. I* Err..yeah.. ;)

8) Don't be sucked into that sorority rite-of-passage bullshiza. If you feel left out, go color some Greek symbols on a tee-shirt (or lack thereof) and strut around campus like a) you have nothing better to do with your life and/or b) you're so hungover you don't know where you're going. You'll fit in perfectly and everyone will believe you.**

9) Don't stop and take fliers from random people on campus. Especially not those advertising for Campus Rail Jam Tour ;) Just kidding. TAKE THEM! :)

10) You will be driven to the brinks of insanity.

**To my sorority friends, I love you. :-* Don't take me seriously.


ShaunaMahana said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ShaunaMahana said...

I have also found that the text books I kept from college work great as Scorpion-smashers. The only 100% effective and quick way to kill them, in my opinion, is to throw "Broadway: A history of the stage" right on the pest. Literally throw the book at 'em.

Also, unless you choose to be a perpetual or lifetime student, there is an end at some point. A huge amount of people (myself included) don't even work in the field they went to school for.

Emily Nicoll said...

This is the college Bible. Amen.

Melodie said...

I also testify that these things are true. Amen.

{andthisiswhatshesaid} said...

i agree!

Anonymous said...

Who reads textbooks in high school? AP history is the only class I can think of where I actually read the textbook.

College is all about the textbooks. They let you learn better and faster and allow you to skip class. Good textbooks are great for later reference and continued study.

Of course, I speak from an engineering perspective and would probably agree that your textbooks are worthless (but that's not their fault . . . it's your subjects that are the problem).