Saturday


14

{Latest senior session, Elisa Soto, here}

One more month of the semester.
After that, a measly 19 credit hours will be the only thing between me and my very own maroon and gold cap/gown/tassel.
Whoadangbackup. NO. Fast forward. Go, go, go. Green light, red light..whatever Dr. Suess says.
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I've been in a Christmas mood since August.
I've secretly been listening to holiday music for the last 3 weeks.
Now, however, I can do it semi-publicly without being stoned to death at the feet of my accusers.
48 days. That's so soon.



Dear Fat-man-in-a-little-{red}coat,
Santa Claus - commonly mistaken for "clause", however, not to be confused with Constitutional components such as the Due Process Clause (although my love for reading/talking/studying this might be greater than my love for Christmas *gasp!*). See. I know your name. Therefore I have a few concerns I'd like to bring to your attention with the uttmost urgency:

1) Pandora channel: Josh Groban (holiday) is usually pretty good about playing a great festive mix. HOWEVER, as of late it feels inclined to include Michael Buble's "Home" and chipmunk-teeth'd Miley Cyrus' "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" in its assortment. While I love me some Mr. Buble, I'd prefer his Christmas music..he already has his own non-Christmas channel on my Pandora; just seems a little greedy to me, that's all. And Miley Cyrus, Christmas or not, gets the automatic thumbs-down-skip-to-next-song. Please assure this does not happen again.

2) I think you need to fix that magical snow machine of yours. It was in the 90's this week. If our snow resorts are not open by December 15th I will be boycotting all things involving your fat, cherubic self.

3) Somehow Nancy Pelosi remains in a Congressional leadership position. I've been asking for her political ousting for the last 3 Christmas letters. Please take her with you to the North Pole and enslave her in the toy factory. Take Sarah Palin & Jan Brewer, while you're at it.

4) I would like to request the banning of flashing Christmas tree lights. Especially when coupled with a majority of non-flashing strands on the same tree. I don't know who ever decided it was cool to have only the middle-left section of their tree flashing. But it is not cool. It simply looks like you have an annoying shortage in your wires. A shortage that leads me to epileptic tendencies. Keep it classy, folks.

5) I hate gingerbread. I think it tastes awful. But I do love the smell. Why can't it taste like the candles?

Love,
Natalie in Arizona
33°30′N 111°56′W / 33.5°N 111.933°W / 33.5

PS Don't be frugal with the snow this year.


8 comments:

Candice said...

I love the lighting in that photo, Natalie!

Yay someone else listens to Christmas music early too! No one else seems to understand!! haha
Josh Groban's holiday music is definitely the best. Hands down.

Claire Tripeny said...

omg you kill me

the mid-serction blinky lights.. ummm wtf it looks bad. its not an opinion its fact. we really should round up all the people who are a waste of space and put them in the sleigh with mr claus (not to be confused with clause).

youre amazing

thrifted finds said...

i love your take on life's annoyances. well said

Eeny said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Eeny said...

Oh my, I think the North Pole would be pretty crowded if Mr. Claus takes all the "bad" ones with him... and do you really want them to make all the toys for all the kids??

I am totally with you on Christmas music... there are way too many wanna-be-Christmas-singers out there. You just have to be picky in that case.

Someone send some snow my way as well. I am in desperate need for some.

Shayla said...

Amen.
To all of it.
Especially the Miley Cyrus & flashing lights part.
You are so funny, I love your witty randomness. Go figure, I am pretty much Queen of Random, people just don't appreciate it much these days. Gah!

Brittany~ Mrs. Arizona American Spirit said...

YOU MAKE ME SMILE. ALWAYS.

love, ME <3

ps. stop being so cute or I may have to mess you up a little.

xoxo
Britt

Caley and Jason said...

hahaha

take miley to the north pole!!
maybe not. she'd probably start stripping on it.