Canes and Cataracts

I was in a big-fat hurry approximately 72 hours ago.
I noticed I was moving at a pace slower than the tortise
in that cute little kindergarten folklore.

I was a little spaced-out; pondering the insane happenings of the day.
When I finally snapped out of la-la-land, it dawned on me why I was going so slow.
It was written, plain and clear, right in front of me -- on the license plate.

MICHIGAN


snowbirds: n. people who have nothing better to do with life after 63 except migrate like a flock of birds down/over/under to Zona-land for the sole purpose of basking in our 43 degree winter sun and irritating the effing life out of people like myself who have places to be and people to see, and who read 45mph as 55mph, not 30. (c) Natalie's Dictionary

Dang you, Michigan.

PS that was one nassssty run-on sentence. My apologies. Moral of the story: they're heeeere.

5 comments:

Unknown said...

Come to California. We're always in a hurry.

Mars said...

I hate this time of year here for that very reason. And I'm not even from here & I've already caught on to this happening. Don't let me forget to mention the fact that it's the holidays & for some reason a lot of morons come out around that time & run stop signs at malls, people walk across the street like a tortoise, people in parking lots are RUDE-like they'll die if they don't get THE parking spot...etc. Sometimes I hate traveling the roads this time of year

Alexa said...

I am sooo with you on this one.
I am in training to get my driver's license {yah, I'm young, I know} and these darned 'snowbirds' are scaring my pants off! They either go waaaay too slow, or waaaay too fast.
Lamage.

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