Red flag means mail

Dear boy who sits behind me in class,
Nice hair cut, it looks good. My hair is finally longer than yours. Yay! Daz kewl. Now, could you please keep your barefeet off my desk? And quit caressing my purse with your toes? That would be Tony-the-Tiger greeeeaat!
Kindly,
The Girl who sits in front of you
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Dear Rainbow Chip Frosting,
Why you gotta' be so good? Is it weird that I come after you with a spoon every night for dessert? Is it weird that I have dessert every night? Is it even more weird that I have about 4.2 desserts every night? Bring it on, diabetes.

Regretfully,
Natalie
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Dear Statistics Professor,
It is apparent, from your zealous behavior, that you love love love statistics. Which is cool; I do too. But, quite frankly, your class puts me to zzzzz. That's z-score talk for sleep. With a mean of 0, and a standard deviation of 1. That's right--it's a normal distribution. Approximately.
Yours truly,
The Girl in the front row with her eyes wide shut
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Dear Satan,
You are lamespice.
Love,
NATALIE <--does that intimidate you?
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Dear car-breaker-inners,
How are you enjoying my iTouch? Do you love the scriptures as much as I do? What about that church music..any favorite hymns, yet? Call me with your baptism date!
CTR,
Nat
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Dear Chick Flick,
Can I watch you right now? A sappy love story, preferably. With lots of sappy love. Hence "sappy love story". Right?
Sappily,
Me
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Dear Blog Readers,
Holy moly. Why don't you comment?! I don't bite. I do, however, check my stats. And when the site reader is showing 70 page views a day and I have 3 comments..well that's just uber dumb. Come out, come out, wherever you are. :) New friends are da best. You da, you da besst.
Love,
Nat-uh-lee
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Yo Halloween, I'm really happy for you, and I'mma let you finish but..
Christmas is best holiday of all time. OF ALL TIME.

20 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Man, I could really go for some Rainbow Chip icing right now.

Nat said...

Christmas is the best. I can't wait.

you are funny.

Miss Marie said...

Tooo funny. Just like me and my dear notes on fb, haha

rachel schlappi said...

dear natalie
i have been blog stalking you for about 2 months. cool huh. i think you are hilarious. but since we are already friends on facebook and i recall playing prelude at your baptism we must already be friends. and you know my older brother? yes 3 ligitimate reasons why we are secretly friends already. but i guess we can be new friends even though i am just a little bitty senior in the mountain view. yeah. there. i came out!
love,
rachel schlappi

RatalieNose said...

K I'm such a bad blog friend!!
Sorry I havent commented in like 200 years! I do love you and your blog! These letters made me happy
AMEN to the chick flick!

Britney Jean said...

ahahahahaha

you make me laugh.

Stephdeezy said...

Umm ha ha I read you ALL the time...sometimes it just is hard to put down in words how one feels. You know what imma sayin?? But I will give it a go...

NatUHlee

You make me laugh and smile :) <- See, does that make you smile? Ha ha anyways I love Christmas it rocks my socks off and I celebrate as much as I can fit in!

Umm your video you and your quaszee(I can't spell) insomniac friend filmed as of recent ha ha I laughed my cheeks off at that post! It was HI-lar-i-ous! Srsly the best! Was that you?? I stalk a lot of blogs ;)

But I didn't watch ALL of it.

Yur TempeTown Lake pics made me miss AZ SO much! I once dated a boy from there and we sould spend SO much time there. End of that lame story...but I love that lake! I wish I dated him just to go back. NAH who am I kiddin!

Does it bother you that I'm writing a post within your comment wall?

Not as much as when your cupcake you bought then forgot about until the next day than remembered to eat only to have been eatin by someone other than you!LAME is what that is!

wow I remember better than I thought!

I found you from our friend lil busyBEE - it's been a while since I met you and never let you know. Is that creepy?

NAH! BC it's just the happy bloggy world! You LOVE It!!

-StephanieMae

Mauri said...

mmm rainbow chip anything is yummy. Seriously that kid rubs his bare feet on your purse?!? Nast! Why would someone break into your car & steal stuff like scriptures & church music. I hate when they take stuff they don't want. Ew that bugs.

ah I liked this post! Sorry I suck at commenting. Right now I usually just have time to read them quick & then I'm too lazy to comment. I suck.

Natalie said...

Hi. You're kind of on a funniest-posts-ever streak. And I kind of love it.

I can say, with truth and honesty, that yours is the first blog post I've ever seen that ever included a note to Satan. Additionally, you are the first person I've ever read to call Satan "lamespice." I appreciate it, though, because Satan IS lamespice. Call it like you see it.

Preach on.

shell. said...

That Kanye West joke? Will NEVER get old.

Loving your letter to Satan. Tres Perfecte!

Chick Flick? Right now? I'm in. :)

Lauren Elizabeth Crazypants said...

for realllllls, christmas could kick halloween's toosh anytime!

Lauren said...

I am glad you used lamespice to define Satan. I used it to define a girl who acts like Satan...so we are twins.

Emily said...

A) Freaking sucks about your car. I say you and I suit up as masked avengers and go find the hell out of those people.

B) Satan is without a doubt intimidated by capslock. This church doctrine goes back to about 7 AD. Y'know, a time when capslock was writing REALLY BIG on your papyrus sheet.

Becca said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Haylee Abney said...

Dear Natalie,
I am sorry that a barefoot hippy guy puts his feet on your purse and that your stats professor makes you fall asleep and that your car got broken into and stuff. But the good thing is that there are things like rainbow chip frosting and sappy chick flicks to brighten our lives. And the other good thing is that you are freaking hilarious and you make me and lots of other people (even when they don't comment) laugh every day. And hello. Satan is the worst. But yes, I think your capital letters intimidated him, for sure.
Sincerely, your friend-via-internets,
Haylee(aka the lame sophomore-in-high-school-girl-who-loves-your blog-and-stuff).

angieinpink said...

hahahahahaha....

i love your blog. it's basically hilarious.

Madison said...

Dear Natalie,
Did you know that this blog made me lol, like literally? several times? You are amazing and I wish we spent more time together and could be bffae, but wait...theres hope! we can still be bffae! But our bond will have to grow through letter correspondence for the next year.5 which I think will be no problem for you after reading all of these letters.
Love Hermana Taets

Marci Darling said...

Dear NatUHlee,

I stumbled across your blog via the way of BusyBee Lauren. She thinks you are cool, therefore I had to check your blog out. You are hilarious. I've recently decided that all cool people like yourself live in Arizona, and I wish I lived there, instead of Alabama.Keep the posting. I love it!

Sincerely,
Marci Darling

angela hardison said...

thanks for visiting my blog and saying hello. yep - blake is my bro-n-law and he's awesome.

i can relate with your little letters. particularly the one to blog readers and to halloween... i can't wait for christmas.

Lindsay and Dano said...

I LOVE THIS POST!