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[Stolen from the FHWB]

FHWB: noun, fake husband without benefits.

FHWB and I have a dog. Well, I guess technically HE has a dog. By dog I mean puppy. And since I'm not particularly fond of puppies once they turn to dogs (shhh..I know!) he's sharing him with me until he grows up. I let him(the dog**) sleep with me, lick my face, and pretty much melt my heart. His name is Baxter, and his breath smells like tuna (we're working on that). Want to know what else we're working on? Training him to obey Harry Potter commands. See below:

"Accio" - Come
"Crucio" - No (he's learning this one pretty well..)
"Levicorpus" - Sit
"Avada Kadavra" - Play Dead

Anywho. To the real story. Tonight I went to FHWB's house to hang out and what not. I was still in church clothes and semi-uncomfortable. So I did what every fake-wife-without-benefits does: grabbed a shirt from the FHWB. I fell asleep watching a movie on the couch in an over-sized tee shirt and a blanket. I ended up driving home sans real pants (some nice dance booty shorts), and of course I get pulled over.

"Oh heey officer. My headlight's out? I'm not wearing pants? NO I haven't been drinking.."

HA. Freaking awesome. Only seriously..no ticket, and a good laugh.

2 comments:

ChristineMarie said...

FHWB?

Nat-uh-lee has her own vocab? This is getting BBL status. Whoa.

ChristineMarie said...

Also, I am in love with the Harry Potter commands. And the dog.